Striving

I feel like my default mode is to try to make things happen on my own. The concept of "letting go and letting God" is a pretty foreign one to me. There are times I briefly "get it", but they are few and far between. It seems like there is something inside of me that says "If you don't make things happen, they just aren't going to happen." And I believe it. And I live that way.

But it's so opposite of what the Word teaches. We are supposed to be leaning on God through everything, relying on his strength, not our own. Yes, we have responsibilities and we have to keep walking. We can't sit around like couch potatoes and expect God to move on our behalf. But it's not a striving thing. It's especially not a resolve to make things happen on our own.

Romans says that God is the one who makes all things work together for our good. It doesn't say we have to make all things work by pushing and striving and fighting our way through life. There is a rest we were meant to have in our spirit and I know I haven't let myself accept or embrace it. I get taste of it every once in a while, but lose sight of it almost instantly. But I know it is something I was meant to have and live with on a daily basis. But it requires me laying down my pride and this resolve to make it on my own. It requires me to accept the temporary uncomfortableness of not being in control. But peace is worth it.

"Show us your unfailing love, O Lord, and grant us your salvation. I will listen to what God the Lord will say; He promises peace to his people, his saints." - Psalm 85:7-8