Day 4 and 5 - Paris then London again

We got picked up to be taken to the train station at five. forty. five. a. m. I haven't really been sleeping per se. I was going on maybe an hour of sleep. I kind of looked like a zombie most of the day, except I didn't try to eat anyone.

In Paris, I saw the French Kyrie Dibling-Moore, Rachael Byrd, and Bryon Mitchell. Then in England I saw the British Todd Reynolds and Micah Ness. Apparently, everyone had a British or French counterpart.

On the train to France, we met a super nice lady named Sarah. I liked her a lot, mostly because she laughed at all my jokes. Anytime we saw her the rest of the day she smiled and waved like she was super excited to see us.

We went to the Eiffel Tower first (it turns out it is in France, not the UK... go figure...). After that we went on a river cruise on the Seine. There was a little boy sitting in front of us that was super loud and obnoxious. I threw him overboard (I didn't). It may not have been the best long-term decision, but it was definitely the best short-term decision.

I was determined to eat some French pastries of some sort. So I made my dad walk around with me until we found something. I ended up getting a banana crepe... which. was. freaking. amazing.

After that we went to the Louvre. We only had about an hour at that point so we decided to just head to the Mona Lisa, which is conveniently placed at the far end of the museum (I might be exaggerating). Then we paid €1 to go to the bathroom (2 bucks) nbd.

We stopped by a French bread shop where they didn't speak a lick of English. To communicate with them, I started to speak Spanish. That didn't work at all. After we got the bread and sat outside and ate the whole thing, we went back in for more. So good. Then I slept about 2 hours on the train ride back and then around 11 hours that night.

Day 5 in London my dad had a lunch meeting. So I walked to Buckingham Palace to see the changing of the guard. On the way there I walked through St. James Park, where I am 19% sure I saw John Mayer. About halfway through the changing of the guard it started raining really hard and people were really pushy so I left.

Next, I was going to take some shoes back that I had bought a few days earlier that were too small. I thought about not taking them back, so I didn't have to make the trip. But then I thought, if I don't take them back, I will have to live with that decision for the rest of my LIFE. So I started the journey to take them back, which was ridiculous. Probably about half of the underground lines were closed. Then the wind broke my umbrella and I had to toss it over a bridge (in a trash can). I got really soaked. I finally found a line that would take me where I needed to go and I returned the shoes and went back to the room to change.

I have tripped approx 87 times on our trip. In my defense... nevermind... there is no defense.

London - Day Dos y Tres

I missed a pretty crucial part of day one (I know, I know, what am I doing with my LIFE??). We got to see Wicked! It was super amazing. It's a pretty moving play. I didn't cry, but I had something in my eye once or twice. London was super talented. Different from New York, but it was cool because they definitely made the play their own.

Okay, now that we have that taken care of that we can move on to day 2. First thing, we got on a tour bus. It's one that you can take all day and get off and on whenever you want. They give you headphones when you get on to listen to the tour. About 10 minutes into it I changed my dad's headphones to the Japanese tour. He didn't see me do it and to describe the look on his face would not do this story justice so I won't even try.

We went to St. Paul's Cathedral but it was closed for an American Thanksgiving service (???). Whaaaaa???? So we went and drank coffee and ate muffins instead. Not the same thing, but pretty great nonetheless.

I have seen 4 British versions of people I know in America. I have seen a British Adam Reuss, Jane Lloyd, Rachel Wood, and Lisa Fife. I wanted to say hi, but that might have been weird. Especially when I explained to them that they were a doppelganger.

We then went to the Tower of London to learn about all the people that were beheaded (that's not all that happened there, but those were the parts that stuck out to me). Hearing the stories behind them is always really interesting to me. It's like a medieval Jerry Springer. There was a tower where people who were held prisoner had carved stuff in the wall. That blew me away. I was looking at stuff that had been carved 600 years earlier, by people who were about to die.

We spend the evening shopping and hanging out. We walked past one store that was serving champagne at the door, and we decided we definitely couldn't afford that store, so we moved on.

My father gave me the task of finding our way home... and I don't mean to brag, but I did in fact find the way back to the hotel. Only one little snag. Coming out of the underground, I continued with some extreme confidence. So much so, that I proceeded to kick over a homeless woman's jar of change. And when I say kicked it, I mean KICKED it. We were about 3 blocks away from the Thames, but I'm pretty sure some of the change rolled into it. We did, however, help her pick it up. So we stole £20 and gave her £20 almost at the same time. I felt very proud (by proud, I mean embarrassed).

On the final stretch of the trek, we talked bout Neverland, being the second star to the right and all. My dad asked me if I had any pixie dust. We determined, however, that you don't need any pixie dust, you only need pixie sticks and some happy thoughts, which we do, in fact have. (Didn't make it to Neverland. I say that with deep regret.)

Day 3: We walked to Westminster Abbey, which is about 2 blocks from our hotel. When we went in, there were signs everywhere that said "No Photography", but I thought it was just a guideline, like one-way streets. Turns out they take it quite seriously. I took one picture, and was immediately met with a "turn the camera OFF." I adhered, but the picture was so worth it.

Then we went to the National Gallery and looked at paintings. We spent about 20 min. there, which was more than enough. I wish I appreciated historic art more than I do.

We wandered around after that, saying to each other more than 3 times, "do you know where we are?" - "nope." And both being totally comfortable with that answer. This has been the most relaxing, productive trip I have ever been on.

We ate dinner at a super trendy Chinese restaurant in Chinatown. I felt very cool and popular eating there, and still very hungry afterwards.

London y Otras Cosas - Arrival and Day Uno

The trip started out being picked up at 4am by Groome transportation. After we shut the door to the car I immediately asked "Are we there yet?" Which apparently is not as funny at 4 in the morning. It was worth a shot.

I tend to panic when people ask me questions. Especially people I don't know. I dunno why. God forbid someone on the street ask me what time it is. So when we sat down in the exit row, a flight attendant came by to make sure I knew how to open it. I looked at the door and did not know how to open it, but nodded my head yes (If you ever see me on the same plane as you in the exit row, you might want to start praying). I must not have looked particularly confident because he asked me to put my hand on the handle I would have to pull if needed. So I did... and I miiiiiight have instinctively started to pull it. Moving on...

When we arrived in London the customs officer asked why I was in London. Suddenly, I couldn't remember anymore. Finally after some stuttering I answered "vacation". "What are you going to see?" he asked. ".............uuuuhhhh........... the Eiffel Tower." Blank stare. "I don't think you are going to have much luck seeing the Eiffel Tower in London." To which I simply replied, "Undo."

Also, there is a Ben and Jerry's vending machine in the lobby. I'm going to come back fat. And so ends our day of travel.

Day 1 started at 9:30am... freakin' 4am in Richmond, which is exactly what it felt like. I didn't feel happy when I woke up. Not even a little bit. That made me feel super ungrateful, but I snapped out of it approx 15 min. later.

In the UK, they drive on the left side of the road, so when you are crossing the street you have to look to the right. I don't think I realized how instinctively we look to the left when crossing. But it is painted on the street at every crossing "Look right." Which leads me to this question: Is the American right and left the same as the British right and left? We may never know.

We did some sight-seeing. We went to Madam Tussaud's wax museum (I expected it to be super lame but it was super not lame. It was lots of fun.) and The London Eye. We got on the London Eye at the perfect time. The sun was starting to go down and the clouds were really pretty. Side note re: the wax museum - I think I expected it to be lame because when I was 18 my dad took me to LA and we went to a wax museum there where it looked like someone had turned the heat up for a few hours. It was horribly awesome. Or awesomely horrible?

People in London are really friendly. For some reason I expected them to be snobby and annoyed with tourists, but that is so not the case. If you even look like you are looking for something, people want to help you. I like to walk down the street and smile at people and have them smile back.

We were looking at some statues and I pointed to one and said "Who is that?" to my dad. He said "That's a naked cherub spitting out water." That wasn't necessarily the statue I was pointing to, but it was pretty funny so I let it go.

Final note for day one: I have been layering on the chapstick all day and my lips are still super chapped. I'm trying not to let it ruin my trip/ LIFE, but it's tough ya know?

Disappointment

I caught myself about a year ago looking at a picture of myself when I was probably 3 and wondering, "If that little girl could see who she would become, who I've been in the past, would she be extremely disappointed?" And I had a mini-breakdown over it. I felt so overwhelmed with shame.

Disappointing my dad is something I can't handle. Maybe because I look up to him so much. For some reason it is different than disappointing my mom (not that that's fun either). It may be because one of my mother's biggest strengths is compassion. It just kind of flows from her in a very visible way. So I never really worry about disappointing her to the point of no return. I thought my dad was disappointed in me for a really long time. Finally, I asked him. He said that couldn't be farther from the truth. That was such a huge relief to me.

I beat myself up big time. I'm harder on myself then anyone else could ever be. I don't really know why, I guess I just expect a lot better from myself. And I think one of the hardest obstacles for me to overcome has been a fear that I was a disappointment to God. And most times when I mess up, it takes me a long time to recover emotionally. So I have really had to drill down in my head who God is and what his character is like. He forgives and forgets.

"He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." -Psalm 103:10-12

"For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." -Hebrews 8:12

I don't think as humans we can really comprehend that, because we are not able to do it. We can forgive someone, but we never really forget. When someone hurts us, especially deeply, we never just don't remember it one day. And a lot of times, even if we have forgiven, the pain of the offense is still there.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:1-2) The Bible says it so clearly. Its not written in poetry or tucked deep down where its hard to see and understand. It's plain as day. And I think its that way for a reason. God knows how easily we can sink into our shame and stay there, paralyzed, unable to grow and unable to move. But shame doesn't do anyone any good. It doesn't heal anyone. It doesn't help compensate for the wrongs done.

I read in a book by Erwin Lutzer that said the more you mature in your relationship with Christ, the less time it takes for you to come to him when you've made a mistake, and the easier it is for you to accept that forgiveness that he gives instantly. It's such a freeing thing when you allow yourself to participate in the benefits of belonging to Christ. It's life-changing. And I have decided I will not live in the shame of my past. I will not even live in the shame of the mistakes I make today. I will pick myself up and run to the arms of Jesus where I find hope and restoration. And he isn't disappointed in me. He told me :)