Advice (you'll thank me later, or now maybe)

This is some (mostly) practical advice that I have pulled together from life experiences.

#1 - Girls should not casually wear baseball caps. This one is self-explanatory.

#2 - Yahoo! Answers contains most of the answers to life's questions, especially if a top contributor answers you. Sometimes people post jerk responses when you ask things like "Is Einstein still alive?" and "What time is it?" Just weed through those until you find the answer you were looking for.

#3 - If you wear sunglasses at your desk at work you can sleep whenever you want!

#4 - It's not illegal if it's hilarious.

#5 - It's not mean if it's hilarious.

#6 - High fives are better than handshakes. High fives > handshakes (7th grade math nbd)

#7 - When all else fails, put extra sugar in your coffee.

#8 - If you owe the library $112, that doesn't mean you can't go to the library anymore. It just means you have to borrow the books on your own terms without anyone knowing about it.

#9 - Expiration dates on food are just guidelines. So are one-way streets.

#10 - If you can't find something, the only reasonable explanation is that it was stolen.

#11 - Try to sneak things in the movie theater that aren't allowed. Outside Candy/ Drinks = 1 point, Fast Food = 2 points, coffee = 3 points, a large pizza = 6 points, ect. etc....

#12 - If you ever typo on some sort of instant message, but make a huge deal about it every time and its funny. Por ejemplo: "You should teach children Spanglish earkly on. Earkley???? What the heck does earkly mean?????"

#13 - Find as many baskets as possible to put your eggs in. (This is a metaphor for LIFE. If you don't get it, its probably just too deep for you.)

#14 - When you answer the phone "This is Shari" and then the person on the other line says "Is this Shari?", it doesn't mean they are not listening. They are just trying to make sure you are not a doppelganger. (Please don't answer your phone "This is Shari" because you would be lying)

#15 - You are allowed to exaggerate as much as you want if it makes your story better. It's encouraged.

#16 - Balance and depth perception are over-rated. Who cares if you can walk in a straight line or you walk into walls?

#17 - You don't need to go to the real doctor. You can be seen by an edoctor on WebMD.com. Just as good, if not better.

#18 - Contrary to popular belief, wood screws are nails that go in wood, not screws that are made of wood. I had to learn this one the hard way (by going to Lowe's and asking).

#19 - It's ok to steal things if you really reeeeeeally want them. It's called "borrowing indefinitely."

#20 - End statements with "you understand." When you say that people feel like they have to understand.

#21 - If you end a statement with "I'm just sayin'..." it makes whatever you said ok. Por ejemplo: "He is an idiot. I'm just sayin'..."

#22 - If you are 40% sure about something and a friend is 60% sure about it, that makes 100% so you are definitely right!!

#23 - Embrace the stupid, silly quirks about you. It's refreshing. People don't want or need to see perfection.

Why 23? Good question. That's all I could think of.